Because everyone deserves skills to navigate the realities of sexual communication, we’ve developed a model of consent that:
- Focuses on mutual desire and pleasure instead of fear of violation
- Uses embodiment to improve self-awareness, presence, and communication
- Provides tools to navigate the gray areas between “OMG yes!,” “Okay, I guess,” and “Get the #$!% off me!”
- Includes both verbal and nonverbal communication
- Incorporates modern neuroscience and sexuality research, a trauma-informed lens, and social and transformative justice perspectives
Emma became passionate about consent after reading and attending workshops on the subject and feeling like something was missing: people were talking about pleasure and bodily autonomy, but there was almost no real embodiment practice. She also began noticing that even affirmative consent seemed to be more about permission and boundaries than relationship and joy, which she suspected not only missed an opportunity, but couldn’t be good for arousal or desire. She began exploring ways of making consent sexy, and she came to believe that any usable model had to include a foundation of connection and playfulness, the realities of ambivalence, and deep body-based awareness.
Over many years, Fuzzy was accused of a number of consent violations and didn’t understand why. They knew that they had caused harm, and they desperately wanted to do better, but they didn’t know how. So they became obsessed with learning everything they could about consent. What they found was a mess: conflicting concepts, clashing cultures, unclear and inconsistent definitions, and a bunch of absolute rules that conflict with the reality of human relationships. Disappointed with the quality of the information out there, they started compiling a consent guide—mostly to get clear on their own practices in relationships and better understand the impact of their privilege. They soon met and joined forces with Emma, and found that many other people were hungry for this material as well!